Can I use a three month grace time to make this happen? In trying to do this it seems that if you use a three month grace time you just extend the subscription
Right. The Grace Time setting in the Auto EOT Behavior engine, will add that time on top of the actual end of the access. This is meant usually to give the user something like a couple more days of access on top of the time he had left paid.
EOT is the time set as the end of the subscription, i.e. the actual end plus grace time. At the EOT time the automatic behavior will be applied.
I had not seen requested before something like letting someone have up to 3 months of access after the subscription ended. That's like having someone demoted to a regular user but still with premium access. If it's a Level 0 user, the regular demotion role, his access will be Level 0, not higher.
might their be another way of perhaps creating another membership level with similar access status that is only three months in duration and after the regular EOT is reached the member is demoted to this other level?
This is a likelier approach to the behavior you're trying to achieve.
The auto EOT demotion doesn't set a new EOT time, though. But the normal demotion role is Subscriber/Level 0, not something else. Both can be customized for a more advanced EOT behavior.
I think you'll find these articles very helpful:
Then you could have the paid access set at Level 2, the demotion role for it be Level 1, and the demotion role from 1 be Level 0. And when demoting from 2 to 1, add the new EOT time.
With the examples in the articles, you're almost there. Just mixing them and write the exact behavior you want in your customization.
I hope that helps!